What I Want To Be

A writer. A producer. A photographer. A Traveller. All our lives, we've been asked what we want to be, whether as a child, or in school as we plan the courses that will take us to our chosen careers. Careers, it's an interesting term, because it's different from a job.  To me, a career is something we enjoy doing, we thrive doing, work that doesn't feel like work and actually something we get up for every morning.  A job on the other hand, comes across more habitual, out of duty, clocking in and clocking out.

I used to wonder how people could settle down for a job that's quite different from the career. I often thought it was something I could never do in the long term. And now, at times, I wonder.  What would it be like just to settle in a job, clock in clock out, take a regular paid vacation, how nice would that be? But as I ponder these jobs, inevitably it takes me back to a field of comfort - film.

At least I've narrowed it down now. I enjoy reading, I would love to work in development and story editing, with some writing on the side. I can produce, I just have to be patient and work on small steps at a time, because it's unlikely anyone will give me a lot of money to produce a film. I like accounting as well, for film, and with the work season starting soon, a long gig would be great, to save up and head off on another long (though unpaid) vacation.

A friend sent me a job posting that was looking for baby photographers, people who take photos of babies.  It sounds awesome, but in the long term, probably not something I'd want to keep doing. Maybe I over think things, maybe I'm commitment phobic.  I think I am...the thought of staying in another long term job that I don't see myself in, in 40 years, is actually screaming at me to stay away.

Yikes, what to do, what to do...while the year's started off creatively and productively, the last few weeks have seen a slow decline in those areas. Perhaps it's time to sneak in a short vacation to recharge and get re-inspired.